I am not. I am not walking my path. I have given up again. Given in to this voice inside my head who tells me suicide is the answer. Why have I given up? Why have I given in? What makes me believe I am less worthy than everyone else in this world? Why the fuck can’t I get it right? I see my naturopath next week. I don’t know that there is anything left she can do for me, but unless I am willing to put myself out in the world there isn’t much left anyone can do for me. I wish I could run away again. I am going to be nice to myself for this next week and a half. If I don’t make it to the gym I won’t beat myself up. If I sleep in and be lazy I won’t tell myself how worthless I am. I will keep searching and keep looking for something…

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