Last night I dropped my son off at his dad’s house. His dad was nice enough. He tried to convince me to come inside. He told me my daughter and her boyfriend were coming by with my grandson so I should stay to see them. I politely declined repeatedly. Smiled. Told my son I loved him and I would see him tomorrow and promptly drove away. I drove about 80 mph the entire drive home, with the music blaring. I shouldn’t be so triggered anymore I told myself. I came home and baked cookies. I ate all but 2 of them. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. What I did was what I have been doing much of the time lately. I asked myself, “What would Rose Madder do?”.
A few weeks to a month back I listened to Stephen King’s audio recording of his book Rose Madder. So lately, much of the time, when I am nervous about doing something or I am upset or hurt or scared I ask myself, “What would Rose Madder do?” and it helps me get through. It helps me to be strong and to push myself. It helps me to not give up. It helps me so much that I purchased a lovely print titled Rose Madder on Etsy though Wyldtrees. I hung it by my front door to look at each time I leave the house and each time I come home.
So when I was driving home last night I was mad, but I got through it and I didn’t let it ruin my weekend and I did not let the sadness overtake me. I am stronger now and my journey will continue.