The problem with depression is that it keeps coming back and each time it returns I’m not quite as strong. This time I feel quite weak. I’ve been fighting. I made a decision. I thought the decision would help. I thought I would be able to love myself and get a job and be semi-normal, but Nope! I can’t do this. I can’t. Society does not fucking care. Not until after you end your life and the few people who do care can’t do shit to fix it. If only I had the money to continue trying alternative treatments. If only I could fight this depression long enough to get and hold a job in order to have money to fight the depression. Gotta love our society! Damn it! I hate myself. I hate my brain.

But I’m sticking it out. 2 more years. 2 more damn years! and my daughter and my cousin say I’m a narcissist! Oh how I still fucking wish I was! I’d have killed myself by now if I was you fucking little assholes! Or I’d have up and left without a thought or a care as to how it would affect my boys. I’m so done with people who take no responsibility, can’t apologize, and blame others. I just want to be done with this world already!

One thought on “Failing

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