I do not know if it is the right thing to do, but it will keep me alive for now. I have to do what will keep me alive even when others don’t understand. Here, I can’t even afford to be alive. In this state I can’t even write. I’m not quite ready for it to be over even if they all hate me, so I will keep moving forward. I will try something new. And maybe, just maybe, I will get it right this time.