I thought I would be okay.

I’m not suicidal

But I can’t function

I fake it

It exhausts me

I will myself to be okay

I pray to the universe

I beg

Nothing happens

I am the same as I’ve always been

I cry

Perhaps they are right

The desire to not exist is strong

I can function when I run away

But I can’t afford

to runaway

any longer

If only society did not exist the way it does

But it does

I cannot change that

I won’t give up today though

Life is beautiful

what goes on inside my head is not