The thoughts are strong today. If everyone is gone tomorrow I think I will do it. When I saw my therapist yesterday I felt it was the last time I would see her. There is nothing left she can do for me. I don’t even have it in me to write anymore. I took some St  Johns Wort today. I’m still drinking my green smoothies everyday and eating a lot of veggies. I just don’t feel like I should  be on this planet any longer, aside from the kids and that’s not even enough any longer.  I will spend the rest of today making my decision.