I still hate myself

I had a moment of clarity. Like I always do. I really don’t think the bad guy knows he’s the bad guy. I wish I could separate from myself, from my emotions. I wish I could find the core me. The one I lost so long ago. I’m tired of being crazy. I’m tired of not being the true me. I’m tired of being afraid, even though tomorrow I’ll be afraid and feeling worthless again. How pathetic is that? 43 and I’m insecure like a child. Damnit! I’ve got to get my shit together! I’ve got to be brave. I’ve got to make a stand!

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