Today is a bad day. I don’t feel well at all. I hate that my emotions fluctuate so much so often. I am afraid again. Afraid of changing my life and afraid of not changing my life. To depend on someone else or struggle by myself. Until August. Until August. Until August. I just have to keep saying that to keep myself from doing anything rash or drastic. I am tired. The EBV is definitely activated when I do too much. I hate life or I hate myself. One or the other. I just want to rest forever.