Another day

I have done nothing the past 2 days, but I think that is a good thing. In a way, anyway… Today I realized my depression often comes on due to an EBV flair up, like the one I am having now. Normally I would beat myself up, telling myself how lazy and worthless I am. I wouldn’t accept that my lack of energy and inability to focus was due to my physical illness. This crack fueled EBV virus wrecking havoc on all that I am. I always blamed myself and told myself I shouldn’t be tired. I should be a better mom and a stronger person, but in reality there is not a damn thing I can do! The virus is awake and having a party in my body. It has overtaken me and there is not a prescription nor a cure. All I can do is rest and wait for the virus to be all partied out. When the virus rests I can be me again. For now I must share my body and not let the virus know I am working on killing it! Or at the very least controlling it.

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