He is gone again tonight and I should be happy. I want him to go. I want it to be done. But I don’t want my son to hurt and I still want that perfect little family. It was easier when I believed he was gambling. Now that I am almost certain their is another woman I am upset. And it’s sad because I have other men in my life. But I only talk to them because I am lonely when he is gone until five in the morning. I want to catch him so badly. To see him with her. To finally fully let go and be with someone who wants to be with me. Someone who wants to take me out and not some other woman. He is definitely not worth my time or energy.