Today I am lazy and stupid and worthless. Why??? I stopped taking the Lamictal because of the bloating and not being able to poop! I don’t understand why we have to poison our bodies to fix our minds. So I am sad again and doing nothing. Wishing I was motivated. I hate my house, but should be thankful I have my house. I think I will have to try another route to fix my brain. 5htp again maybe or up the St. John’s wort to a prescription level. I just want to get through this next year without feeling like hell and lazy. I want to have the energy to do things and right now I just feel like shit. I am not okay, but tomorrow I will try again.