Today I am not okay. I have therapy at 1:00 and I am not motivated to go. I am telling myself this feeling shall pass, but I’m not feeling it. Everything feels overwhelming right now. Guilt. I feel guilt just for being me. For being inconsiderate and lazy. Selfish and irresponsible. I don’t feel deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to exist. 

You can’t surround yourself with people who treat you as worthless and less than then beat yourself up for believing them. 

I hate myself. I am laying here like a blob feeling sorry for myself. Just breathe and go. It will be better after therapy.